


Spifflicated

by theliteraltrash, ThousandSunFury



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: 1920s, 1920s slang, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Historical, F/M, Flappers, Intoxication, Jazz - Freeform, Jazz Age, M/M, Speakeasies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 16:05:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10666113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theliteraltrash/pseuds/theliteraltrash, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThousandSunFury/pseuds/ThousandSunFury
Summary: Spifflicated- Drunk: 1920s Jazz-era usage. See also: hammered, sloshed, shit-faced, tanked, blitzed, bombed, wrecked, three sheets to the wind, loose, tipsy, trashed, smashed, etc.The year is 1922 and the gang decides to break some laws.





	1. I'm A Member of The Midnight Crew

Dennis could feel it. Today was going to be extraordinary. He smiled at his reflection in the mirror and combed his hair to have a slight curl. He took a deep breath and turned to Mac. “Your turn, my good man.” He handed Mac the Brilliantine and stepped away from the mirror. Mac grabbed his own comb and began slicking back his own dark, unruly hair.

 

Dennis ran his finger through some dust on a shelf. “Hurry up Ronnie, we ain't got all day.” Dennis rubbed his thumb on his pointer finger, getting rid of the dust and Mac sighed. “Charlie and Sweet Dee are waitin for us.” Dennis urged.

 

“You're just calling me that to get a rise outta me.” Mac stated as he put the finishing touches on his hair.

 

Dennis raised his eyebrows. “It is your name.” He said firmly.

 

“Let's blouse.” Mac put down his comb and shoved Dennis's shoulder. Dennis laughed a bit and headed out the door.

 

* * *

 

 Dennis parked in front of an apartment complex. “Wanna come with or stay here?” He asked.

 

Mac shrugged. “Stay here, I guess. Make sure no one damages your precious car.” He smirked.

 

“I'll leave her running.” Dennis got out of the car and headed inside the building. He smiled and waved at the man at the front desk. The man nodded at him.

 

Dennis headed upstairs. When he got to the second floor, he went to the third apartment on the right. He turned the knob and opened the door. Of course the dewdroppers would forget to lock the door. When he stepped inside he heard the sounds of KDKA and he frowned in confusion.

 

He looked at his sister in confusion. She sat in a cushioned chair with her back on an armrest and her legs dangling off the other armrest. She wore a knee length white dress and a pair of black heels. She smoked a cigarette as she read the newspaper. “Deandra, how did you get a radio? You ain't got any lettuce.” He asked.

 

She exhaled some smoke and didn't look away from the paper. “I stole it for Charlie. He heard about this broadcast and wanted to hear it for himself. I think it's bushwa.”

 

Charlie turned away from the mirror he was using to put Brilliantine in his hair. “Ain't she just a blessing, Dennis.” He smiled. He put his comb down and pat his thighs. “Ready?” He asked, spreading his arms.

 

Before they can leave the apartment, Mac barges in. “Your car ran out of gas, Den.” He says, out of breath from running up the stairs. Dennis sighs and rubs his face.

 

“Guess we're walking.” Dee puts the newspaper down and turns off the radio. She stands up and readjusts her dress.

 

The four of them leave the apartment, Dee locking the door behind them. She hands the key to Charlie, who puts it in his pocket. They head downstairs and out of the apartment building. As they walk to The Diner, a speakeasy disguised as a diner, Dee complains about her feet hurting. “If you got an American car we wouldn't be in this fucking mess.” She grimaces.

 

The boys gasp at her turn of phrase. “Deandra! Didn't your mother teach you to act like a lady?” Mac says in disgust.

 

Dee rolls her eyes. “It's just a word.” She insists.

 

* * *

 

 When they arrive at The Diner, they sit in their usual booth, the twins sitting against the wall. Charlie sits next to Dee while Mac sits next to Dennis. “Ever notice how this place is always packed?” Mac asks while they wait for a waitress or waiter.

 

“It's because it serves giggle water.” Dennis responds.

 

“We could open up one of these places. We'd really rake in the clams.” Mac responds, raising his eyebrows. He bites his lower lip.

 

Before the other three can say anything, a waitress with blue eyes and short blonde hair walks over to them. “What can I get you today?” She asks.

 

Dennis answers for them. “The usual.” He says.

 

The waitress smiles at him. “Ducky, Dennis.” She turns to Charlie and Dee. “So did you two finally set a date?” She asks.

 

Charlie looks at her in confusion. “A date? For what?” He asks.

 

“The wedding.” She says as if it were obvious.

 

Charlie and Dee give her matching shocked and confused looks. “What? No! We aren't together. As if I'd let him put a handcuff on me.” Dee said quickly.

 

Mac and Dennis laugh loudly. Dennis turns to Mac and rests his head on his shoulder. He grabs Macs other shoulder. The both laugh so hard they run out of air. “I wouldn't date her.” Charlie adds quickly.

 

“Sure.” The waitress says sarcastically. “I'll be back with your order.”

 

Charlie watches her as she walks away, he let's out a longing sigh. “Why are the ones you want always so out of reach?” He asks.

 

Dennis snorts. “Listen, sap, just because you find a cute flapper, don't mean you're in love with her.” He leans back in the booth, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

Charlie gives his attention to Dennis. “But I am in love with her. She is the girl of my dreams. Someday I'm gonna marry that broad.” He smiles and wiggles his eyebrows a bit.

 

Dee fakes a gag. “You're gonna make me Ralph.” She says.

 

Mac taps Dennis on the shoulder. “Can we get back to what I was talking about?” He asks the others. “We should get into this business. We'd gets tons of cash.” He says.

 

Dee shrugs. “You know Carmine’s?” She asks.

 

“The steak joint?” Dennis asks.

 

Dee nods. “Yeah, I know the owners daughter. I could ask her if we could use the basement for a juice joint of our own.”

 

Dennis purses his lips and squints a bit. “Where will we get the cabbage to run it?” He asks.

 

Dee takes a few moments to bite her lower lip, getting some lipstick on her teeth and she squints at her brother. She quickly perks up and smiles like a madman. “Mommy and daddy!” She says emphatically. “You know mommy just is dying to give you some fortune.”

 

Dennis smiles and nods in response. “Excellent, Sweet Dee, you're a genius.” He praises her.

 

Dee leaned back in the booth and put her elbow on the wall. “Charlie’s got a piano at his mom's place. We could charge for the show and give ‘free’ hooch.” She adds, tilting her head. Her short black hair getting a bit in her face.

 

Charlie looked at her in confusion. “Why not just charge for the booze?” He asks.

 

Mac sighed. “Notice how this place only charges for the food? You get free liquor? That's the loophole, rag-a-muffin.” He said firmly.

 

Charlie’s eyes widened. “Wow, that's a good idea, we should do that. Charge for cheese, give free hooch.” He nodded.

 

“No.” Dennis sighed. “No, you play the piano, sing a bit, we charge for the entertainment, give free booze.” He corrected.

 

“I can't sing _all_ the time, Dennis.” Charlie said. “My fallopian tubes need breaks.”

 

Dennis looked at him in concern. Mac covered his mouth to keep from laughing. Dee bit her lip to do the same. “Charlie… you mean vocal chords.” Dennis stated slowly. “A fallopian tube is part of a broads nether region.”

 

Charlie looked at Dennis in confusion. “I know my anatomy, Dennis. The fallopian tube connects to your mouth and lungs and nose. It's, uh, it's how you breathe and stuff.” He waved his hand near his throat.

 

Dee and Mac both let out loud bursts of laughter. Mac slapped the table. “Nevermind.” Dennis sighed.

 

After a minute, Dee composed herself. “I can sing. You know I'm good.” She says.

 

Mac frowns at her. “You're not pretty enough. You're too tall, lanky, and skinny.” He looks at Charlie. “That waitress you like is the perfect fit, except her boobs are too big. If she were flat chested like Sweet Dee and could sing, it would be a perfect flapper for a performance.” He raises his eyebrows.

 

Dee slams her hand on the table in frustration. “No! I will sing and that is final. If you don't let me sing, I will strangle you with your own scrotum.” She leans in close to Mac and snarls.

 

“Jesus, this is why we can't take you anywhere.” Dennis pushed her back, his hand on her face. “You get out of control.” He sighs and wipes his hand on Mac's jacket. “You can sing.”

 

Mac frowns and shrugs off his jacket. He shoves his sleeves up to his elbows, revealing a few tattoos on his forearms. “It's gettin hot in here.”

 

The waitress walks back to their booth with their food and drinks. “Four panther sweats.” She sets a glass of whiskey in front of each of them. “One peanut butter and pickle sandwich.” She sets the plate in front of Charlie. “And baked ham with walnut bread and caramel custard.” She set the rest of the food in front of Mac. She then looked at the twins. “You two sure you don't want anything?” She asks.

 

“On a diet.” Dennis responded.

 

The waitress shrugged. “Suit yourself.” She walked away.

 

Charlie watched as he took a bite of the sandwich, accidentally biting his thumb. “Applesauce.” He mumbled as he focused on the food and took a bite, this time only getting the sandwich.

 

“I don’t know why you guys never eat anything here.” Mac says with his mouth full of ham.

 

Dennis rolled his eyes. “I need to look presentable.” He says as though it were obvious. “Speaking of looking presentable, why did you ruin your beautiful arms with that ink?” He asks in disdain.

 

Mac wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “I told you it's because I'm gonna be a sailor. All sailors got tattoos.” He shoved more ham in his mouth.

 

“You keep saying that, yet you ain't signed up to be a sailor.” Dennis responded. “Sweet Dee, does it look like we're on a boat?” He asks his sister pointedly.

 

She rests his arms on the table and looks at Mac. “No, Dennis it does not look like we're on a boat.” She smirks.

 

Mac sighs. “C’mon, Charlie, help me out.” He looks pleasingly at Charlie.

 

“What? Did you think I was listening?” Charlie asks. “‘Cause I wasn't.” He finishes.

 

* * *

 

 After a few hours of drinking, they stumble out of The Diner. It was about three in the morning. Mac smiled at Dennis. “I hate a moral coward, one who lacks a manly spark.” He sang loudly.

 

“I just detest a man afraid to go home in the dark!” Dee added, singing a bit louder than Mac.

 

Dennis sped up his pace and spun. “I always spend my evening where there's women, wine, and song!” He continued.

 

Charlie smiled widely. “But like a man I always bring my little wife along!” He pointed forward.

 

“I'm a member of the midnight crew,” the four of them sang loudly in drunken harmony. “I'm a night owl and a wise bird too. Home with the milk in the morning! Singing the same old song!” They began shouting, rather than singing.

 

“Bring your wife and trouble, it will never trouble you.” Mac sang alone.

 

The other three continued. “Make her a member of the midnight crew!” They shouted loudly.

 

“Shut your yaps!” Someone shouted through the window in their apartment building.

 

The four of them silently agreed to shout louder just to spite the stranger. “The fun it doesn't stop til twelve on happy old Broadway!” Dee shouted at the top of her lungs.

 

“So what's the use of going home until the break of day!” Mac shouted at the same volume as Dee.

 

“Now something confidential, whisper not above a breath!” Dennis screamed.

 

“I once went home at two a.m. and scared my wife to death!” Charlie screamed, exceeding a volume the other three could reach.

 

After quite a bit of walking they finally made it to Charlie and Dee's apartment. “So, after I get some gasoline in my car in a few days at max, we're gonna have a meeting with mom and dad.” Dennis stated as Dee was unlocking the door.

 

“Yes.” Dee said, opening the door. Charlie headed inside. “That's the plan.”

 

Mac bit his lower lip. “Think we can get away with this?” He asked, looking at Dennis.

  
“As long as you don't get arrested for sodomy first.” Dee responded, slamming the door in their faces. Dennis furrowed his brow and looked at Mac. Mac pursed his lips and matched Dennis's confusion.


	2. Ten Cents A Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang get the ball rolling on their scheme

Dennis and Dee had dressed up slightly for the dinner, Dennis even taking the time to style his hair in finger-waves. Mac and Charlie, however, looked entirely out of place. This wasn’t helped by Charlie having fallen off the back of Dennis’ car multiple times on the drive there.

 

“Charlie, you’re a mess. Christ, is it really that difficult to not fall out of your seat, I mean, if  _ Dee _ can manage it...” Dennis tried to brush some of the dirt from Charlie’s jacket with little effect.

 

‘Dennis that is not a seat, it’s a luggage rack and you know it,’ Dee interjects.

 

“Yea you try sittin’ back there jeez. Or get a car that actually has 4 seats.” Charlie shoved Dennis off just as the grand door of the Reynolds family’s lavish house opened abruptly, before Dee could even finish knocking.

 

‘Denny! Darling, it’s so lovely to see you!’ Barbara looked right past Dee and greeted her son warmly before pausing to take in the others standing behind him. ‘And you brought your friends. Deandra.’ she sneers as they file through the entry. ‘Children, you know where the dining room is,’ She walks past them further into the house, leaving them in the foyer.

 

When they reach the dining room they can hear Barbara berating the kitchen staff from the other end of the adjacent hallway. Mac and Charlie’s eyes meet and a mutual look of dread seems apparent on both their faces but Dennis just shrugs and takes a seat. Dee sits across from him, carelessly trailing her cape-like sleeves behind her chair. Charlie trips over one as he heads for his spot and lands on the ground with a heavy thump.

 

Mac reaches out a hand to help him up before taking his own seat, ‘Uh, Charlie why do you only have one shoe?’ 

 

‘Other one fell off,’ he huffs, ‘and half the trouble is Dee’s lousy dress what’d you wear that one for? It’s practically ten feet long.’

 

‘Its  _ elegant. _ ’ She punctuates this with the pop of the cork leaving the bottle of wine that had been left on the table to be served with dinner. 

 

Charlie finally gets to his seat and starts, ‘Its terrible and I shouldn’t have made it,’

 

Dee glares daggers at him and repeats, almost yelling ‘ _ Its! Elegant!’ _ She slammed her fist on the table, causing the centerpiece and the empty glasses to shake. 

 

“Deandra! Don't raise your voice, act like a lady.” Barbara chastised Dee as she walked into the dining room.

 

Dee sighs and pours some of the wine in her glass. “Yes mother.” She said as she watched the dry rosé decant into the glass.

 

Barbara sat at the foot of the table. “Your father will be here shortly.” She informed, apathy apparent on her face.

 

Everyone heard the footsteps descending the stairs towards the dining room. They sat in silence, knowing it would be a bad idea to incite an argument when they had to ask for money. Charlie turned his head, seeing Frank walking towards the head of the table. He turned his head again, looking at Dee. He watched as she took a large gulp of her rosé, downing it all in one drink. She poured herself another glass, then handed the bottle to Charlie. He smiled at her and poured himself a glass. “So, what the hell do these good for nothing kids want?” Frank asked Barbara as he sat down.

 

Barbara rolled her eyes and scoffed as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Why would I tell you?” She asked. Charlie frowned, remembering that she doesn't even know why they're there.

 

Dennis opens his mouth to explain why they came, but before he can speak, one of the kitchen staff arrives with tripe and oysters. She smiled and set the dish on the table. Dennis decided to speak when the worker began putting the food on the plates. “We were planning on opening up a bar. One of those speakeasy things.” He raised an eyebrow and watched as the worker poured him a glass of wine. “You must have heard of them.”

 

Frank let out a hearty laugh. “Of course I heard of them.” He took a sip of his own wine.

 

Dennis nodded a bit. “We were  _ hoping _ you could divert some funds into keeping the police… uninterested.” He stated simply.

 

Dee frowned. “Why don't I have as many oysters as them?” She asked the staff woman.

 

“Mrs. Reynolds said to limit your consumption.” The worker answered.

 

Barbara sighed. “We don't want you to gain any unwanted weight.” She gave a sly smile. “Frank, you have to give Denny the money. He deserves it, such a good boy.” She drank some of her wine.

 

Dennis smiled. “Thank you, mother.” 

 

Frank scoffed. “Why should I just give them the money, it's not like they earned it.” He gives the kitchen staff woman a once over, then looks at Barbara. “I earned that money through hard work and dedication.”

 

Dee let's out a high pitched noise. “Uh no you didn't, you scammed Eugene Hamilton out of millions of dollars!” She shouts.

 

Frank slams his fist on the table, causing Mac's glass to fall over, spilling his wine on the white table cloth. “Do not speak ill of the dead!” Frank shouts, pointing at Dee.

 

Barbara gasps loudly. “You buffoon! You spilled that wine on this expensive tablecloth on purpose!” She shouts, standing up.

 

Mac gasps. “Um, what?” He looks up from the spilled wine to his friend’s mother. “I swear I didn't do it on purpose!” He says quickly.

 

Barbara snarls at him. “Not you!” She shouts loudly. “Him!” She forcefully points at Frank.

 

“Why would I purposefully spill this clowns wine?” Frank asks.

 

“Just to piss me off!” Barbara shouts in response.

 

Charlie looks at Dee in concern. Dee and Dennis are giving each other matching looks of exasperation. Charlie decides to turn his attention to Mac. They both seem to be aware that there is more to this argument than wine, and that they probably shouldn't be there for it. “Why spill wine to piss you off when I can not give Dennis the money to piss you off?” Frank responds.

 

Barbara fumes. “You will give  _ my son  _ the money or so help me god they will not be able to find your bloated corpse!” She screams.

 

“Fine!” Frank shouts. “I'll give them the damn money!” 

 

Barbara yelled for a maid to clean up the mess that was made. While waiting for the maid to arrive and while the hosts had their attention aimed elsewhere, Mac and Charlie ate as much of their food as they could. The twins sat in their seats staring at the walls as their parents continued arguing. 

 

Barbara eventually decided she had had enough and stormed out of the dining room, making no small show of pushing her chair in as loudly as possible. Frank seemed pleased enough with that resolution and turned to Dennis, “How’re you getting the booze?” 

 

Mac speaks up at this, eager to contribute something to the conversation besides awkward stares, “I’ve got a cousin out near Harrisburg who-”

 

“No!” Frank interrupted, “If I’m paying to keep this operation running I’m gonna get something out of it. I’ve got a guy.”

 

“You’ve got a guy?” Dennis asks flatly, “We already have it sorted, I’m not giving a fifth of our income over to you through some middleman,”

 

“Well that’s right, you’re giving me a third and you’re using my guys or you’re waking up to a room full of cops.” With that Frank downs the last of the wine in his glass and stands up. “I’ll set up a meeting for you and then you’re on your own,” He walks out leaving the gang in the dining room alone. 

“That went better than expected.” Dee says after a minute. “No one even threw any dishes.”

 

* * *

 

Dennis and Mac pulled into the vacant lot where they were supposed to meet Frank’s contact half an hour late, “-because this vehicle is the finest piece of machinery ever developed by man and requires a lot of delicate care and attention, and it’s not, as you keep calling it, a ‘ _ jalopy _ ’ thank you very much.”

 

“It’s a jalopy, pal.” Mac scoffed.

 

They climbed out of the car still arguing, and turned around to see their contacts standing beside their own vehicle with two crates presumably full of moonshine. Mac and Dennis glanced at each other hesitantly when they realised who they were meeting. The McPoyle twins.

 

“Oh, goddammit,  _ you guys _ are dad’s suppliers?” Dennis crossed his arms defensively as Liam stepped uncomfortably close into his and Mac’s space. 

 

"Lovely to see you Dennis," Liam bit his lower lip, Dennis may have read the expression incorrectly but it seemed a bit seductive. "Macwell," Liam added, it seemed as though he were sneering at Mac.

 

“Ugh, let’s just get this over with.” Mac pushed Liam away, “How much do you want for the booze, Liam?”

 

“Two-hundred clams for the lot.” Liam grinned “Eight gallons of sweet, quality giggle water.”

 

“It’s the good stuff.” Ryan spoke up from behind him.

 

“Two-hundred!?,” Dennis screeched, “We were supposed to get a discount for buying in bulk!” 

 

“Oh yeah?” Liam took a step closer, his face a mere inch away from Dennis's as he spoke

 

“Yeah!”

 

“Heres your discount: Two-fifty! Or nothing.” Liam rose his voice to match Dennis.

 

Mac stepped in before Dennis could raise the price even higher, “Fine! Two-fifty. Christ,what a pair of pikers.[*](https://greensdictofslang.com/entry/edq3lpq)”

 

* * *

 

Charlie put his arm around Dee's shoulder. Dee grimaced but didn't remove it. “You and me, we're gonna be the best duo in all of Pennsylvania,” He smiled, placing his other hand on his hip as they walked to Carmine’s. “We'll sing the pants off of everyone in town.”

 

Dee felt her grimace slowly raise into a smirk. She moved Charlie’s arm off of her shoulders, placing it on her hips. She felt her cheeks grow hot as a blush spread across her face. “Yeah, and we'll be invited onto one of those radio shows that play music.” 

 

Charlie kept glancing at Dee through the corner of his eye. “Can you believe it, Deandra? We're gonna be famous and everyone will love us.”

 

Before Dee could respond they stood in front of the door to Carmine’s Steak Place. Dee removed Charlie’s arm from her waist by quickly swatting his hand away. She opened the door and stepped inside, Charlie following close behind. As she walked past several tables, she spotted a familiar head of unruly dark curls. “Arty!” She shouted, feigning excitement. She knew that if she pretended to care things would run smoothly.

 

“Sweet Dee, nice to see you. I see you brought Charlie. Are you here to tell me when the wedding is?” She smiled as she took a drag from her cigarette, which was in a long, slim, and expensive holder.

 

Charlie raised his eyebrows. “No! No. No, we came to talk to you about some important business,” he sat down in front of her. “We knew you have some space in the back and we were  _ hoping _ you could let us use it so we could open a place that sells some delicious  _ moonwater _ -”

 

“We want to open a bar in the back of this restaurant.” Dee interrupted.

 

Artemis pursed her lips as she let ashes fall from her cigarette. Dee watched as the small bit of ash fell into an ashtray. “Will you let me get free drinks?” Artemis asked, glancing back and forth between the two.

 

Charlie frowned a bit. “ _ Well _ -”

 

“Deal,” Dee interrupted. 

  
Artemis smiled widely. “I'll see you when you're ready to get things set up.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> $250 in 1922 is the equivalent of $3581 now. Yikes.


	3. King Porter Stomp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gang's juice joint gets off to a good start

Mac smiled at his friends. They sat in their regular booth at The Diner. The waitress set their usual orders in front of each of them. “What’s got you so cheery?” She asked Mac.

 

Dennis let out a light laugh. “Why would we tell you?” He said, not sparing her a glance.

 

Her face fell and Charlie furrowed his brow. “Aye don't talk to a lady like that, ‘specially not this lovely one.” He snapped, smiling at the waitress.

 

The waitress rolled her eyes. “I don’t need your help, Charlie.” She states. “Have a nice day.” She sneered and walked away.

 

Charlie frowned as he watched the waitress walk away. He let out a sad sigh and grabbed his glass of whiskey, taking a sip of the amber liquid. Dennis tapped on the table in front of Charlie. Charlie looked up just as Dennis spoke. “You’ve been pining after that boring waitress for years. What's the big deal?” He asked.

 

Charlie looked at the waitress, she was taking another tables orders. “She’d make a good wife.” He said, taking a bite of his sandwich.

 

Mac gave him a confused face. Charlie grabbed a cigarette from his jacket pocket. “How would you know that, you don't even know her name?” Mac asked as he handed Charlie a match.

 

“She’d make a better wife than Sweet Dee. How ‘bout that?” Charlie snapped. He quickly struck the match on the table then lit his cigarette.

 

Dee let out an angry noise. “I so can make a good wife!” She shouts. “Any man would be lucky to have an actress such as myself. I've even been blessed by the heavens with the ability to sing.” She smiled and raised her eyebrows.

 

Dennis pursed his lips. “What makes you so sure?” He asked.

 

“That film company left Philly 6 years ago. What were they called? Luden?” Mac said, looking at Dennis for assurance.

 

“Lubin Studios.” Dennis nodded, looking at Dee. “Closed in 1916.” 

 

Dee grabbed her glass of whiskey. “They’ll come back once they hear about Sweet Dee.” She paused, looking at her glass. “They always come back.” She punctuated with a sip of the cool liquor.

 

Charlie snorted. “You seriously think they'll reopen for  _ you _ ?” He blew out some smoke. “Have you seen yourself?” 

 

“You're too old to be a proper flapper and you're so skinny it's like looking at a corpse.” Dennis adds.

 

Mac nods. “No man would be interested in watching you on the big screen. We're lucky the films are silent so they won't hear your squawk.” He smirks.

 

Dee stood up, holding her glass. Before anyone could ask what she was doing, she poured her whiskey on Mac. Mac gasped loudly and quickly stood up. “What the Hell?!” He exclaimed. 

 

“You deserve far worse than that.” She drawls. She kicks Charlie’s calf and he stands, letting her out of the booth. 

 

Charlie clicked his teeth and turned to Mac and Dennis. “Uh, I'm gonna follow her.” He furrowed his brows and nodded a bit. He turned back towards the door and followed Dee outside. “Dee! Dee, wait up!” He wheezed as he jogged up to her.

 

Dee stopped, turning to him. She crossed her arms over her chest. “Are you here to call me a bearcat?” She asked, frowning.

 

Charlie shook his head. “Nonsense, I wanted to make sure you're okay.” He gently placed his hand on her elbow. 

 

Dee's breath hitched and she felt her heart flutter. She quickly yanked her arm away from him and locked her hands together behind her back. “I'm fine.” She hissed.

 

“No you're not. I can tell.” Charlie gave her a concerned look, staring into her piercing blue eyes. “Sweet Dee,  _ I  _ started it with what I said about the waitress.” He took a step closer to her. “I'm sorry you're upset.” He said quietly.

 

Dee sighed. “You're wrong. I'm used to you guys being jerks.” She separated her hands and fixed her bangs. “I just lashed out.” She fixed the rest of her short, dark hair. “Let's ankle to Carmine’s. Arty is waitin’ for us. We might as well set up the stage.” She grabbed Charlie’s hand and led him towards the building.

 

* * *

 

When the night was dark, the bar was full of people. Mac was doing an awful job being the doorman, but that meant they could draw in a large crowd. Dee sat on the counter watching people dance with just about anyone. She smiled when she saw two young women dancing together. Women exercising new freedoms together is what Dee enjoyed about the current decade. Dennis gave a young woman a strawberry cocktail. “Nice dress.” The woman said to Dee. 

 

Dee smiled, her cheeks burning as they tinged pink. “Thank you. My roommate made it for me.” She patted the black lace that layered above the bright yellow fabric. 

 

“Is he your jellybean?” She asked, nodding towards Dennis.

 

Dee grimaced in disgust. “No, he's my brother.” Dee grabbed a cigarette from behind her ear and extended her hand toward Dennis. Dennis sighed and pulled out a box of matches. Dee struck a match and lit her cigarette.

 

The woman smirked a bit. “What’s a pretty broad such as yourself doing all alone?” She asked, slowly placing her hand on Dee's thigh.

 

Dee felt her face go red. Surely this woman was just being nice. She blew out some smoke and leaned as bit closer as Charlie’s piano playing got louder. “I could ask you the same thing.” She responded.

 

“Care to dance with me?” The woman replied.

 

Dee shook her head. “I've gotta be on stage in a bit.” She said simply. The woman nodded and before she could say anything, another woman grabbed her hand and they disappeared into the crowd.

 

Dennis chuckled. “I didn't know you were queer. Surely that's why you can't get a man.” He wiped down the table.

 

Dee turned to him in shock.”What?” She asked.

 

Dennis laughed. “That woman was flirting. She's got a crush.” He replied.

  
Dee huffed. “That's bushwa. She just thinks us ladies should stick together, which I believe too. I don't  _ need _ a man.” She flicked her cigarette in a nearby ashtray. 


End file.
